My beautiful Angel. 5 yrs and yet it still hurts like it was yesterday. You will never be forgotten. My heart aches for u. I love u and miss u so much. 4.11.2009

My beautiful Angel. 5 yrs and yet it still hurts like it was yesterday. You will never be forgotten. My heart aches for u. I love u and miss u so much. 4.11.2009

theprimroseproject:

The Kindness Project is one of my favourite organisations. It was created by Dr Joanne Cacciatore, in memory of her daughter Cheyenne. The idea is to carry out a random act (or acts) of kindness in honour of your child or loved one.

I love to do kind things for people, but I especially love the idea of doing something kind for a stranger, who can never repay me. I love that the only thing that person, or people, will know about me, is from the card I leave behind, telling them that my act of kindness was done in memory of my daughter.

One of the hardest things I’ve struggled to come to terms with since losing Primrose, has been trying to work out where to put my love for her. I have all this love just bursting out of me, but no where to put it; no Primrose to give it to. I try to transpose that love, by putting it into, what I like to call, ‘Primrose Projects’. I take photos of clouds with golden halos, and I write her name in the sand under the sunset. I buy her pinwheels and dreamcatchers and snow globes with angles, to place at her grave. I light candles for her, I pick her flowers, I sing lullabies to the sky and hope that she can hear. I paint, draw, make, capture, create, all for Primrose…but it’s not the same. I can’t love her the way I would like to love her. I can’t see her. I can’t hear her. I can’t touch her. I can’t give her the love I so desperately want to give her. I have to love her from a distance…an incalculable and immutable distance…and it is incredibly hard.

Through the Kindness Project, I am able to take my love for Primrose, and share it with others. I can take the joy and the love and the light that Primrose brought to my life, and use those beautiful gifts to brighten the lives of others. Primrose was a blessing and I am so unbelievably grateful for her life. I tried so hard to save her, but as it turned out, she ending up saving me, and for that I owe it to her to take her light out in to the world and share it with as many people as I can.

You’re not reminding me of my hurt, because it never left. I haven’t forgotten that she died. In fact, it’s so refreshing to hear you talk about her, because it shows you haven’t forgotten her either.
Julie Forman (via theprimroseproject)
Our children transform us, both in life and in death. Once given to us, not even death can take them away. They live on in the hearts and minds and lives of all they have touched.
Mary-Ann Sontag Bowman (via theprimroseproject)
It was the worst thing that I could ever imagine happening and it happened to me. It happened and I’m still here. What else is there to be afraid of? Even the fear of death has lost its grip of me because that is where my daughter has gone. While I still experience normal fears and anxieties, I don’t let them stop me anymore. They can’t overwhelm me because I’ve lived through worse.
Loni H.E (via theprimroseproject)
And no matter what anybody says about grief and about time healing all wounds, the truth is, there are certain sorrows that never fade away until the heart stops beating and the last breath is taken.
Tiffanie DeBartolo (via kari-shma)
All I can tell you are the few truths that I have learned on this journey. You will survive this. It may feel impossible in the coming days and weeks but I promise you, you will. When you don’t know what else to do – just keep breathing.
Let whatever you do today be enough. Let go of the judgement you have about what you should be or could be doing, and today, allow yourself to simply be. I know that it’s so hard not to compare yourself and your journey, but it gets you nowhere. It makes you feel worse and it keeps you stuck. So stop fixating on where everyone else is, and start giving yourself permission to be exactly where you are. Quiet the voice telling you to do more and be more, and trust that in this moment, who you are, where you are at, and what you are doing is enough. You will get to where you need to be in your own time. Until then, breathe. Breathe and be patient with yourself and your process. You are doing the best you can to cope and survive amid your struggles, and that’s all you can ask of yourself. It’s enough. You are enough.
Daniell Koepke  (via neurologies)